Who Will Show Them a Father?

Ten years ago I had the joy of serving as a youth pastor. I recall one Wednesday evening during a busy week that I had not had significant time to prepare for the evening’s Bible study time. I looked through all the videos in my bookshelf to find an option and came across a video to share with a bunch of seventh and eighth-grade boys. I cringed as I pulled the video from the shelf because I hated the whole “Bible study in a box” approach to ministry. Nevertheless, it was what we were going to do that night.


Next to senior adults, teenagers are often the most difficult and rewarding to minister to, in my opinion. As I started the video, I realized that most of the boys seemed not to be paying any attention to the show. They were squirrely that night. They talked, giggled like girls, and picked on each other. I remember wondering if they were getting anything out of the study.


I don’t recall the title of the video or the plot in the story, but I do recall when I thought the boys had nearly pushed my very last button that something extraordinary happened. In the video, a man speaking to one of the boys in the video said, “the reason you have such a hard time accepting a heavenly Father that loves you is because you have never known the love of a father in your own life.”


The room went silent. In that moment I learned three things. First, junior-high boys can multitask. Secondly, sometimes they ARE listening when you don’t think they are. Third and most importantly, most don’t know the love of a father and it pains them deeply.


My heart breaks for the boys in our culture that have never known their father. Many of them are products of broken marriages with dead-beat dads who were more concerned about their own pleasures than meeting the needs of a spouse and family. A few have lost their fathers through death especially in the youngest of our boys whose fathers have fought overseas. Many are not given the opportunity to see their father due to court arrangements that often unfairly favor the mother. Some, through loose living of their mother do not even know who their father is or which partner of her past might be their father. Others only know their father’s abusive words and hands. 


A couple of weeks ago I read a social-networking post of a teenage boy that was nervous because he had found his father and was going to meet him for the first time. I never heard how that meeting turned out as I do not know the young man. I would not be surprised if the boy was more disappointed after the meeting.


Our heavenly Father is not like so many of our earthly fathers. Our heavenly Father never leaves us. He is our provider and protector. He loves us. He never ignores; never abuses.   His word it true and His promises are never broken.  He forever loves His bride.  He is the supreme example of fatherhood for each of us.


My heart breaks for the broken teen-aged boys who do not understand what God has designed and intended for them. I believe God’s heart breaks too.   Consider the following Scripture passages that reveal God's heart.

"...(God) helps the fatherless and the widow."  Psalm 146:8

“A father of the fatherless and a champion of widows is God in His holy dwelling.” Psalm 68:5

I am blessed to have a father that modeled for me what it meant to provide for and protect his family. I pray that my children are blessed as I strive to be the father God has called me to be to them.


Only a father can teach a boy what it means to be a man. Only a father can correct and guide a boy into the passage of adulthood. A father is the only one that truly teach a boy how to love a woman and be a faithful husband. This is not to depreciate the many, wonderful, single mothers in the world. But no matter how great the mother is, she is not a father.


Certainly boys aren’t the only ones who suffer from an absent father and I am not ignoring the fact that little girls are hurt by absent fathers too. I am also cognizant of the fact that there are many girls and boys that are being raised without a mother. It is my observation though that our boys are being damaged by our fatherless culture more than anyone else.


Knowing that we have so many broken families and fatherless homes, I pray the church will rise to help single mothers by partnering in ministry to them.  Our hearts should echo the heart of God in brokeness.  No one can replace a father in a boy’s heart but we can provide godly examples for them to look up to and follow. We can show them the love of the Father in us. The church can encourage young men to be the fathers that God has called them to be by demonstrating the way in our own homes. We can show young fathers and boys that real men love God and love others. The expression of love is not weakness but strength.   Who will show them a father?  Who will show them the Father?